Tag Archives: morality

Thyroid Storm

Well, this has been the most eventful new year ever! I didn’t declare any resolutions but opened my mind and heart to the haps of life in the “happy” of the new year. And so they began, I had a blockage and lost A LOT of weight. Concerned that the medications weren’t helping and possibly cancer, my husband takes me to the ER. There they find the blockage, and I don’t have cancer! This is a burden off my shoulders like no other and feel like I could dance and sing though I’m still gaining meat on my bones!

After this event, my thyroid must have decided my body needed help and began to go into 6th gear. Yes. Thyroid Storm. For a few days, I thought perhaps it was just weakness from the blockage, until it became too much. Thankfully my doctor let me see him quickly, and with out hassle and gave me the treatment for the Thyroid Storm. Why not rush to the ER since it can be fatal you may be wondering, well I haven’t insurance! With in 48 hrs of thyroid suppression, I could move again! Think! Feel! Smile! I was so shocked that such a thing as a thyroid could, BOOM, freak out and hitch hike on a roller coast I’ve not been riding.

So, during these times you find out who your true friends are. You find out that “I care for you” may mean “I’m just nosy, bored and jealous” or “I have no life”. It could mean “You mean more to me than my job” or “I’ve cancelled all my plans for you”. And, all of these I have experienced. I thank to cosmos for my good sense to read the signs and know what the universe is telling me. It’s telling me to be ALIVE. It’s telling me of humanity. It’s tell me that I have every right to be a nice person and ask a question nicely, but I don’t have to be yelled at and try to make it right. There is no living by living in the realm of the oppressors. Oppression of my thyroid was beyond my control. And, oppression from humanity, economy, and such are also uncontrollable. But, we have the choice to walk away: middle finger up if you feel so obliged but I could care less. When I see a human “caring” out of self indulgence for the sake of whatever they stand to gain, I can not rush them to the ER. No. But, I can lessen the ripples of the echos in this web of life but walking the path of self awareness and as best open to freedoms as I can, with knowledge and love that soothe the tremors of humanity. And, I think the catalyst for those who betray, lie, or become aggressive and hurt in anyway is unhappiness. Now that is a dose of energy I do not wish to bath in. Instead, I embrace my shadows and weaknesses for what they are and hope they help me keep afloat on this river unwinding. Now, if my thyroid tries to drown me, well then I will go to the ER hehehehe

So, beyond that, I have been dreaming up art pieces and spending time with my little gymnasts and teaching the idea of virtue and morality. For like my 6 year old says “All things are imagination and are not real until we imagine them to be so.” And the imagination of love and war, make for interesting convo. Hm. Please respond to your theory on these two elements and their fabrication, for I must rest my weary head! Until soon 🙂

 

Lore

 

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Equality

The equality of love is hate.  Or rather, you can not have one with out the other.  And, unfortunately, for some we experience true love and then are provoked into true hate.  After many months, I’m still finding out things that went on for the sake of a “name” or “business” that was pure betrayal.  Naturally, love would want to try, excuse, or talk it out: but when these things fail there’s either loss or war.  In my case, it’s neither.  I find that you can love what what meant to be with out changing what is and letting go of what was.  Was is all lies of love? No, it’s not because it never was.  But the actions of riding on the coat tails of this love is what I chose to let go.  It has awakened in me a type of realism that humanity is so technologically dependent words are so easily manipulated that humanity can make love or war with a single work.  Our legal system knows this is probably the only benefit for the sake of words.

INTERESTINGMEMORYAnd for that I’m grateful! Never the less what’s left after all this?  An action.  The moment of destruction or heart warming truth.  Still hearing things that have been done, have simply been a manner of weighing what to let go, what to love based on memory, and what to do.  The actions have purely been underhanded business deals, nothing more.  But, hey, gotta make money some how.  That’s just not my way.  This is action.  So, I chose to act to let go.  And, yet, I write this but only for the sake to make known the idea of memory.  Why? Because another betrayal bit of info found its way to my ears that had been listening to lisa thiel and aching due to the weather.  The most fascinating thing is that I have met a lot of amazing fun people I was told weren’t worth the time.  And so, flinging in my ears, this new bit of information, I realize that love is ever so blind, thus the excuses to grasp a moment against fear.  But, not even those involved in the web of my life could find any rhyme or reason for the bits of information floating in.  Not gossip, but action.  Action here means something concrete, the act of war, the act of love; the deliverance of such information to provoke another aspect of action: Truth.  And, the reason is because truth is a set of freedoms which begets action. We’re essentially action and consequence within the webs we weave and the Truth being relative to a set of morality and ethics, veiled.  But, when I met these worthless people who were lovely, I knew then that my action of love blinded me to the truth of my own set of morals and ethics.  Within business, I wouldn’t be under handed, you’d hear me for my beliefs, but those are the ethics that define me and cause my actions.   So who has more ethical and moral benefits; the lover or the fighter (and you can be both)? Should I denied participation? Kept everyone at arms length and let only those who are interesting enough to get anything from close to me?  Close enough to not care by action which would then naturally define the cyclical myriad of the human collective.  “Tis better to have love and lost than to not loved at all” or “what’s love got to do got do got do with it” hm. Well, when I see, hear, and watch the betrayal unwind before me, I realize, it doesn’t exist.  Whether you start a business with your spouse, by a car with your lover, or invest in property with a boyfriend, morality and ethics remain causing action provoking either love or war which then determines the morality of said person and…….. but I will also say this: war is blind too.  It can cause you to take over a nation and lose the respect of your people, it can cause you to cheat on your spouse and lose your wife but either sucker you wanna be… what do you stand do gain?  Nothing.  I realize the actions of only myself and the cycle of the path of morality and ethics that suit me willing to take on the consequences of my actions defining the aspect of me!  But in a world of change, loss cuts the web, retaliation burns it, but moving moves with it in now. as it always was.  Move with the flow of life and truths and standing up for the aspect of your beliefs will make a difference in the way things evolve.  Many speak of Kharma and forget about Dharma.  It is all now.  The unknown Truth, that which leads me.