The pain in the side for us all is the affliction of choice. But, I wonder at the consequences of things beyond our control. I did some energy work last Sunday; a calm, peace bringing candle work. Though my room was blissful and suddenly my heart found a new, simple path of purpose or choices. Monday I was vomiting insanely until wednesday. When by friday the symptoms eased save for the pain in my side and middle railed between my nerves screaming, I ran my happy butt to the doc. He said that it’s probably my Graves Disease initiating an autoimmune response causing my pancreas and gallbladder to become irate.
To what extent? I don’t know: the testing process is still in action. I couldnt figure out the consequence of my energy work. Because like all choices, there are always consequence. I don’t believe that the work of peace has claimed my organs as a penance rather I’m thankful that I am relaxed enough to see and act on this new experience. However, there is an issue of responsibility and consequence that resonates in any choice like any spell or energy work.
One thing I’ve learned is that though you can raise or lower energy to become something useful, you can not change the outcome with out first changing yourself. If you’re on the road to alcoholism there’s no spell to solve that until you chose to change yourself. However, there is energy that will assist in helping with transitions. Most often in assisting the change, we become complacent and inactive due to the manifestation of assisted change: something that was suddenly so difficult becomes slightly easier or clearer and so we relax. This is no time to relax! This is the time assess responsibility and to accept the consequences of past choices and future consequence.
Often in meditation and peaceful practices, we rely on their affects rather than our actions. I highly believe that anyone can benefit from peaceful practices as they tend to less manipulate or infringe on our life: they relax us and tame us so we can process. But like having that sip to relax because I couldn’t lasso my road rage, I could rely on meditation rather than choosing to accept responsibility for my struggles and the need to manifest change. It is like we our digging our own grave with a heart for love and peace but a will strapped to the back of a Hearst. There is a simplicity of responsibility that many religious practices fail to attend, so speaks the aisles filled with self help books. We want the change, but how many people put into action responsibly that which they ask for?
Next blog I want to address how to access responsibility. It only seems fair when I’m claiming laziness on behalf of myself and others! lol I’ll give some tips on things that have helped me decide what I need to do actively and how not to take advantage of my meditation!